Don’t read about me I don’t deserve it. I don’t know how I reached here? I did gave the exam where you have to perform in just 3hrs. I don’t have a right to be here. Where I am dumped with 400 geniuses all superior than me and I am forced to win a rat race from them.
I live in past, my memories always keep reminding me the things I had done in the past and all their evil effects. I was good at studies but college took all the confidence from me. People go for departmental positions, act, dance, sing, talk, look beautiful, have girlfriends, drink, enjoy games but I don’t…………… I can’t, even if I try it projects me as a looser and I agree ‘I am a looser’.
I am not cool, and now I had even left hope of ever being. I am just a scrued up joker. I don’t know why I have faith on god has he ever done good for me………..shit why do I think so much why can’t I be real (always have crap scratching my mind). Night outs are a common stuff. Why can’t I get along with any one? No one fucking cares for me and now I had stopped thinking about it. I can’t laugh I don’t deserve it. Future!!! Can anything happen to me. I hate toppers why are they so good at everything, I don’t have any talent. My standards for girls have fallen drastically or may be the other way I know I can’t ever get anyone so I had stopped bothering about me or hell I won’t get one if I try as well.
Why do I chat to unknown complete strangers who don’t even fucking cares about me or not even know me? Staying up night just to talk with someone you don’t know. What I don’t have …………..or I don’t have anything. To me all look the same, I am a crap. why do I take so much care for the people I don’t know and fuck them…..wait they fuck me who knows me. My parents, their relatives whom I don’t even know have so many expectations from me. What if I don’t achieve it, they think I’ll earn in dollars ……….will I even earn anything ever.
Why I always think that people are avoiding me…….or they are actually avoiding me, making a fool of myself. Kind of playing with me as if I don’t have anything to think from as if I blindly trust them. Actually I do trust them even after knowing that they are playing with me. Why I look desperate for everything. People stay online but just avoid me by saying that they are not as they know what a looser I am. Why is everyone so happy other than me? Am I such a big messed up crap? That nothing can ever make me laugh. Why there is so competition? Why can’t I have a girlfriend?
Nothing is ever going to change me, I’ll remain an asshole. Nothing can change me. No one will be affected by my survival or………..do I even have a right to live? Should a person like me be allowed to talk to people always make a fool of me? Any ways they aviod me. I had already thought the best way to leave…………. I avoid parties, meeting people as I know they won’t even like me. Am I such a big dickhead that no one will ever like me? I always have to force myself on others, is that my fate?
No one should ever talk to me; I don’t deserve to live here along with these people. I should be thrown out of the society in some dark deserted corner for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
chit chat on FB
DISCLAIMER: If you are a girl you shouldn’t read this but if you are a boy and that to a desperate one you must read this.
Wait!!!!! It’s not goanna end your depression but just let know what this depression can bring out of you if you use it as a sword rather than a folly.
Well in most of the cases the reason of frustration is of course is …………………….you all knows.
I was never into this fb(facebook) stuff it’s amazing applications ah! They are beyond my horizon. But I don’t know why? Probably as I told you the depression or as my friends call it frustration made me do it. While checking my home page filled with what my friends like. Soon one of those adds caught me, yes u guessed it right “chat with……….”,”make friends…………” and all as one of my friends liked it as they do on fb.
Well using that utility I made friends with at least 10 girls using that utility without even knowing them. Huh! What don’t think I am goanna tell you what made that possible, it’s a riddle not by tom riddle though its not by tom riddle that you have to solve.
Now it was like an egg that was to be hatched by me. Huh! Dude trust me I am not a hen, I had a hard time behaving like one. None of the girls asked me anything from me except one. I soon started heating that egg. Though she was an American chick and rest can’t be left behind as soon a Spanish chick also joined me the chat.
The Spanish was a little cold as I wasn’t able to hot her because she didn’t knew much English and don’t ask about that American chick she was ‘miss don’t care’ she had loads of attitude and I had a tough time talking to that hard ass, but any how I managed to chat with three girls together.hey! Hey!!!!!!!!!! Don’t freak out, third one who asked about me before adding me.
So basically I tried on three chicks out of which the third one was finally hatched, she was also an American chick dude. I talked to her from 2am to 6am note the time dude. I don’t want to add personal details as she might also read this but her recent picks shows that she is one of the most beautiful chicks I had ever seen.
Don’t jump the bad part is about to commence so basically I slept at 6:30am and woke up at 8am, missed my meal to ran a mile for my class……………wait the worst part is yet to arrive. Though I was jumping in joybut my head had lost its control and I felt like being 10 vodka bottles down and the worst part is I had all the classes that day which used to be half off on normal days. I was sitting on the second bench………..wait trying to keep sitting by making my eyes the hardest pressure that could even had thrown my eyeballs out when the prof asked me to go and wash my face. Don’t worry the effect of ten vodka bottles can’t be just washed by few drops of water. I was still juggling with the state of sleep and the blackboard that reminds me of the night and said to sleep. Nothing strange the prof again asked me to fuck off. Believe me stop having beer and vodka just try not to sleep after a night out in a serious profs boring class. This time I took the extreme step and fucked the class and came to the hostel and went on dreaming and again missed the lunch.
Wait!!!!! It’s not goanna end your depression but just let know what this depression can bring out of you if you use it as a sword rather than a folly.
Well in most of the cases the reason of frustration is of course is …………………….you all knows.
I was never into this fb(facebook) stuff it’s amazing applications ah! They are beyond my horizon. But I don’t know why? Probably as I told you the depression or as my friends call it frustration made me do it. While checking my home page filled with what my friends like. Soon one of those adds caught me, yes u guessed it right “chat with……….”,”make friends…………” and all as one of my friends liked it as they do on fb.
Well using that utility I made friends with at least 10 girls using that utility without even knowing them. Huh! What don’t think I am goanna tell you what made that possible, it’s a riddle not by tom riddle though its not by tom riddle that you have to solve.
Now it was like an egg that was to be hatched by me. Huh! Dude trust me I am not a hen, I had a hard time behaving like one. None of the girls asked me anything from me except one. I soon started heating that egg. Though she was an American chick and rest can’t be left behind as soon a Spanish chick also joined me the chat.
The Spanish was a little cold as I wasn’t able to hot her because she didn’t knew much English and don’t ask about that American chick she was ‘miss don’t care’ she had loads of attitude and I had a tough time talking to that hard ass, but any how I managed to chat with three girls together.hey! Hey!!!!!!!!!! Don’t freak out, third one who asked about me before adding me.
So basically I tried on three chicks out of which the third one was finally hatched, she was also an American chick dude. I talked to her from 2am to 6am note the time dude. I don’t want to add personal details as she might also read this but her recent picks shows that she is one of the most beautiful chicks I had ever seen.
Don’t jump the bad part is about to commence so basically I slept at 6:30am and woke up at 8am, missed my meal to ran a mile for my class……………wait the worst part is yet to arrive. Though I was jumping in joybut my head had lost its control and I felt like being 10 vodka bottles down and the worst part is I had all the classes that day which used to be half off on normal days. I was sitting on the second bench………..wait trying to keep sitting by making my eyes the hardest pressure that could even had thrown my eyeballs out when the prof asked me to go and wash my face. Don’t worry the effect of ten vodka bottles can’t be just washed by few drops of water. I was still juggling with the state of sleep and the blackboard that reminds me of the night and said to sleep. Nothing strange the prof again asked me to fuck off. Believe me stop having beer and vodka just try not to sleep after a night out in a serious profs boring class. This time I took the extreme step and fucked the class and came to the hostel and went on dreaming and again missed the lunch.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
American Warmonger
Well the most important thing that should be pinching your mind must be “why would America would kill its own citizens?” provided u have something at the right place. The basic reason behind the 9/11 attack was –America only wanted to have a reason to jump into the war. It was not the first time but in 1993 also WTC was attacked but only about 53 people were killed not enough to start a war. And history produces a lot of evidence of this tendency of USA.
Here I would like to bring to your notice that US currency is not backed by any gold or anything else. ”legal tender for all debts, public and private” yes this is what is written on the US dollar simply means backed by nothing. Its value alters by the amount in circulation. In US the currency is not controlled by the government it is controlled by the FEDRAL BANK which is essentially a private bank owned by few bankers – MORGANS, ROCKEFELLERS and others. They give loan to the government on interest and print the currency on paper and as much as they want. Don’t wonder much because the interest will be produced by them only again loaned to anyone. So to return loan u have to take loan again so ultimately someone has to go bankrupt and promote slavery for just pieces of papers printed out of nothing.
Having a look at the First World War in 1914 USA had nothing to do with it in fact Woodrow Wilson then US president declared neutrality. Though American banks were giving loans to Germans but bankers had something else in their mind they were thinking of bringing America to war. According to a recorded conversation” what will America do if Germans sink an ocean liner with US passengers on board –sufficient to bring America to war”. So on may7, 1915 ship called LUSITANIA was deliberately send to German controlled waters. And America entered war and guess largest profit goes to J.D ROCKEFELLER he made 2.7 billion worth.
America’s entrance to Second World War is attributed to the Japanese attack on Perl harbor; well it was known and provoked:
1. halted trade.
2. Froze Japanese assets.
3. Aided japans enemy against the rule of the war.
4. Australian told about the Japanese fleet moving.
Roservoult was from the family of bankers. Before Perl harbor Americans had nothing to do with the war but post 1 million volunteered for the war. While it is interesting to note that German Nazi forces were supported by I.G FARBEN a company produces weapons whose partner was J. D ROCKEFELLER and US std oil company in fact Germans were unable to fly without that fuel. Same kind support was given by Union Banking Corp NYC. They had 300, 0000 Nazi cash which was later ceased. Guess who the director of that bank was -Prescott Bush grandfather of George bush.
Talk about the Vietnam War the report says 2 US destroyers were attacked which they later claimed never happened. US turned this small incident to a full fledged war. And certain conditions were told to Vietnam about the kind of war as: which locations would not be bombed etc. moreover the flyers were ordered not to bomb the missile systems unless they become fully operational, what kind of war that was? Probably those made the war go long and sustained 3,000,000 dead Vietnamese.
Now talk about 9/11 as I had already discussed. It was planned to provoke Iraq and Afghanistan and not to forget against us. Illegal laws were made for that anyone can be a terrorist. Don’t u still know the reason for war:
1. Destabilization of Iraq.
2. War sustained, region can be divided and the domination over oil be removed.
3. Continual profit from the defense contractors.
4. Permanent military bases are stabilizing in Iraq to control the neighboring oil bearing countries IRAN and SIRIA.
In 2005 two American soldiers were arrested by Iraqi police dressed as Arabs with SAS and shooting at people. They were placed in Basra where later tanks physically broke them out. They are still working on their divide and rule motto in the name of Taliban, region , Muslim countries, class, race and many others.
Here I would like to bring to your notice that US currency is not backed by any gold or anything else. ”legal tender for all debts, public and private” yes this is what is written on the US dollar simply means backed by nothing. Its value alters by the amount in circulation. In US the currency is not controlled by the government it is controlled by the FEDRAL BANK which is essentially a private bank owned by few bankers – MORGANS, ROCKEFELLERS and others. They give loan to the government on interest and print the currency on paper and as much as they want. Don’t wonder much because the interest will be produced by them only again loaned to anyone. So to return loan u have to take loan again so ultimately someone has to go bankrupt and promote slavery for just pieces of papers printed out of nothing.
Having a look at the First World War in 1914 USA had nothing to do with it in fact Woodrow Wilson then US president declared neutrality. Though American banks were giving loans to Germans but bankers had something else in their mind they were thinking of bringing America to war. According to a recorded conversation” what will America do if Germans sink an ocean liner with US passengers on board –sufficient to bring America to war”. So on may7, 1915 ship called LUSITANIA was deliberately send to German controlled waters. And America entered war and guess largest profit goes to J.D ROCKEFELLER he made 2.7 billion worth.
America’s entrance to Second World War is attributed to the Japanese attack on Perl harbor; well it was known and provoked:
1. halted trade.
2. Froze Japanese assets.
3. Aided japans enemy against the rule of the war.
4. Australian told about the Japanese fleet moving.
Roservoult was from the family of bankers. Before Perl harbor Americans had nothing to do with the war but post 1 million volunteered for the war. While it is interesting to note that German Nazi forces were supported by I.G FARBEN a company produces weapons whose partner was J. D ROCKEFELLER and US std oil company in fact Germans were unable to fly without that fuel. Same kind support was given by Union Banking Corp NYC. They had 300, 0000 Nazi cash which was later ceased. Guess who the director of that bank was -Prescott Bush grandfather of George bush.
Talk about the Vietnam War the report says 2 US destroyers were attacked which they later claimed never happened. US turned this small incident to a full fledged war. And certain conditions were told to Vietnam about the kind of war as: which locations would not be bombed etc. moreover the flyers were ordered not to bomb the missile systems unless they become fully operational, what kind of war that was? Probably those made the war go long and sustained 3,000,000 dead Vietnamese.
Now talk about 9/11 as I had already discussed. It was planned to provoke Iraq and Afghanistan and not to forget against us. Illegal laws were made for that anyone can be a terrorist. Don’t u still know the reason for war:
1. Destabilization of Iraq.
2. War sustained, region can be divided and the domination over oil be removed.
3. Continual profit from the defense contractors.
4. Permanent military bases are stabilizing in Iraq to control the neighboring oil bearing countries IRAN and SIRIA.
In 2005 two American soldiers were arrested by Iraqi police dressed as Arabs with SAS and shooting at people. They were placed in Basra where later tanks physically broke them out. They are still working on their divide and rule motto in the name of Taliban, region , Muslim countries, class, race and many others.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
9/11 crude
Boom-boom don’t get excited its not a diwalli cracker nor even a title from venga boys it is the sound herd by people in WTC on sep,9th 2001 and this same sound will rock ur conscience .well time may be the most powerful healer but those memories might not have faded just need to brush them up. According to us news release they were not prepared never had a thought that anyone can use an airplane as a missile. While those fuckkers had conducted a same operation called “MASCAL” using airplanes as weapon and what to tell about the warnings French govt continuously gave warnings of a possible attack but the on arable president went on a month long vacation. Though it is known that the money for this operation was supplied through PAK with a man named Omar shaik with the support of ISI but no one was fucked for it.
Who was blamed for the attack yup it was Osama b laden the well known terrorist so just for now just talk about him, I don’t know why ?but bush and him seems to have been sharing an intimate relationship !!!!!don’t get excited I m not going to prove that bush is a gay but still don’t know why? In jan 2001 bush ordered CIA to back off all the investigation in a case involving the laden family when even they were living in Virginia next to CIA office and the world’s most dangerous threats family for forbidden on grounds of humanity. Well the video showing Benladen claiming responsibility doesn’t looks well enough as his face looks sunken, it becomes difficult to conclude from that video that it was him. it looks that it was planned for him. let’s have another look at their relations Jorge walker bush earlier went to meet Benladens father way back in Arab on behalf of a company called CARLYLE GROUP world’s largest defense contractor and dare to believe me that company had been making huge profits post 9/11.
Let’s be specific about the pentagon tower, Hani Hanjour was a terrible pilot still he managed a 2700 spiral to hit the tower straight away. And what a crash it was in the rubble no seats were found not even pats of plane. The official theory about it is they all were vaporized due to fire in the turbine fuel. It had two Royall’s Royce engine weighing 67 tones each which is scientifically impossible to vaporize. The terrorist were identified through finger prints and passports now what kind of a shitty fire would vaporize steel and titanium but spare human bodies and paper. In fact the owners of those passports are still alive. The video showing the attack in CCTV was immediately confiscated by the authorities and till date it not being released, aren’t they hiding something.
Why to leave behind WTC 1,2and 7.the cause behind the demolition of the building is said to be the pancake theory accordingly fire melted their contact with the inner steel column and they fell like a pack of cards .well if that is to be believed the inner core of 47 massive steel columns must have been standing but I guess superman must have broken them with his punch. if u ask the engineers the building was capable of withstanding 8 Boeing attacks but just fell changed to debris within no time just with free flowing velocity while facing huge resistance from the steel core. Only superman might not have been able to do it he must have been backed by the Bushman. It was amazing that no chair, table and computer … ….. Was found! only debris doesn’t it looked like a demolition of an old skyscraper and those steel columns were cut at an angle as done in planned demolition. But now the Bushman was unable to explain the molten iron found 6weeks after the explosion there. That was a product of thermite reaction forming molten iron and aluminum oxide that flies off as dust; remember the enormous amount of dust storm that looked no less than a rocket launch. And they never talked about building 7 which was not even hit by a plane explained by the fire theory that never happened. Looks like I forgot to mention about the second explosion that happened in the basement just minutes before the plane attack, was that the beginning of the reaction .
And what happened to NORAD it takes them only 10 minutes to track send jets but on that day they got 80minutes still the jets were not flying. Was it the superman flying interrupting their view no……………..?it was the bushman they were operating same kind of live fly hijack sortie. When the 9/11 commissions the asked Bush and Cheney were asked to appear separately they still appeared together and gave the joint statement.
We see only what they wanted us to see through their news agencies and we are made to believe it .And none of us are brave enough to challenge their view .mind me Americans are not that dumb as they tell you in call centers. They are really hard ass motherfuckers. u must be wondering why would anyone do such to its own citizens well there is a grave reason behind that as well wait for a while I will let u know that as well.
Who was blamed for the attack yup it was Osama b laden the well known terrorist so just for now just talk about him, I don’t know why ?but bush and him seems to have been sharing an intimate relationship !!!!!don’t get excited I m not going to prove that bush is a gay but still don’t know why? In jan 2001 bush ordered CIA to back off all the investigation in a case involving the laden family when even they were living in Virginia next to CIA office and the world’s most dangerous threats family for forbidden on grounds of humanity. Well the video showing Benladen claiming responsibility doesn’t looks well enough as his face looks sunken, it becomes difficult to conclude from that video that it was him. it looks that it was planned for him. let’s have another look at their relations Jorge walker bush earlier went to meet Benladens father way back in Arab on behalf of a company called CARLYLE GROUP world’s largest defense contractor and dare to believe me that company had been making huge profits post 9/11.
Let’s be specific about the pentagon tower, Hani Hanjour was a terrible pilot still he managed a 2700 spiral to hit the tower straight away. And what a crash it was in the rubble no seats were found not even pats of plane. The official theory about it is they all were vaporized due to fire in the turbine fuel. It had two Royall’s Royce engine weighing 67 tones each which is scientifically impossible to vaporize. The terrorist were identified through finger prints and passports now what kind of a shitty fire would vaporize steel and titanium but spare human bodies and paper. In fact the owners of those passports are still alive. The video showing the attack in CCTV was immediately confiscated by the authorities and till date it not being released, aren’t they hiding something.
Why to leave behind WTC 1,2and 7.the cause behind the demolition of the building is said to be the pancake theory accordingly fire melted their contact with the inner steel column and they fell like a pack of cards .well if that is to be believed the inner core of 47 massive steel columns must have been standing but I guess superman must have broken them with his punch. if u ask the engineers the building was capable of withstanding 8 Boeing attacks but just fell changed to debris within no time just with free flowing velocity while facing huge resistance from the steel core. Only superman might not have been able to do it he must have been backed by the Bushman. It was amazing that no chair, table and computer … ….. Was found! only debris doesn’t it looked like a demolition of an old skyscraper and those steel columns were cut at an angle as done in planned demolition. But now the Bushman was unable to explain the molten iron found 6weeks after the explosion there. That was a product of thermite reaction forming molten iron and aluminum oxide that flies off as dust; remember the enormous amount of dust storm that looked no less than a rocket launch. And they never talked about building 7 which was not even hit by a plane explained by the fire theory that never happened. Looks like I forgot to mention about the second explosion that happened in the basement just minutes before the plane attack, was that the beginning of the reaction .
And what happened to NORAD it takes them only 10 minutes to track send jets but on that day they got 80minutes still the jets were not flying. Was it the superman flying interrupting their view no……………..?it was the bushman they were operating same kind of live fly hijack sortie. When the 9/11 commissions the asked Bush and Cheney were asked to appear separately they still appeared together and gave the joint statement.
We see only what they wanted us to see through their news agencies and we are made to believe it .And none of us are brave enough to challenge their view .mind me Americans are not that dumb as they tell you in call centers. They are really hard ass motherfuckers. u must be wondering why would anyone do such to its own citizens well there is a grave reason behind that as well wait for a while I will let u know that as well.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
TRIP TO PATNA
Ah! This is my last day at hostel before holidays I was determined to post this blog and it is a crunch moment as net was fumbling like Indian fielder but finally with jonty rohdes coaching now it will allow me to do so. While eloping from a ragging schedule I landed up patna.i came to patna with my friend a local guy wt(without ticket) for the 1st time .my friend had a horny look same I was expecting from his sister , your expectations r always higher than reality but in this case they were sky rocketing than reality. His sister was one of the worse that I had ever seen and that too with a typical bihari accent and with phata bans offcose. That had shattered my frist hope patna and later as well they were not satisfied. Patna is a small city like any other in the country or I might have not seen the real part.
I started my day with the campus of nit patna my perception of patna touched a new depth.it was established in a old building of some science college .my main motive was to have a look at the girls which had arrived from various colleges to take part in nit patnas tech fest. There I felt satisfied with the standard and quantity as well. Have thorough knowledge of my great interest my friends took me through a gulli full of girls hostels any one can imagine the aura of such a place without much of cerebration .following next was a gulli full of coaching centers with banners claiming them to be iitans as if the entire students have found their overseas placement here in a narrow lane. The other thing that I constantly noticed was beautiful girls I still wonder what might have been the scene had they opened their shutters to speak that bihari accent .
The next day my friend went to meet his GF and I went to the place that they claim have the best malls in patna , the zoo. I realized what actually they call mall, believe me it was pitiable .my friend was quite conservative about his GF he never let anyone se her message or even number and that day too he was hiding from us but on way back from the zoo we spotted him with a girl and probably he had not seen me. As they passed me I was jumping of joy not but because I had spotted his little secret but for the fact that I don’t have a GF I even enjoyed a chilled drink in what seems to be my victory. His GF was a mere 5pointer and he used to boast about her I was better not having a GF than her.
When we made my friend realize that we had spotted his GF he was not in any mood to believe the fact and to bring him on earth I had followed his GF in those narrow gullis filled with girls hostels I was sacred for a moment what if people around will start pushing me for following a girl whatever be her looks. But finally I reached her hostel and we had a treat with my friend and his GF and I gave her the respect she deserved.
I started my day with the campus of nit patna my perception of patna touched a new depth.it was established in a old building of some science college .my main motive was to have a look at the girls which had arrived from various colleges to take part in nit patnas tech fest. There I felt satisfied with the standard and quantity as well. Have thorough knowledge of my great interest my friends took me through a gulli full of girls hostels any one can imagine the aura of such a place without much of cerebration .following next was a gulli full of coaching centers with banners claiming them to be iitans as if the entire students have found their overseas placement here in a narrow lane. The other thing that I constantly noticed was beautiful girls I still wonder what might have been the scene had they opened their shutters to speak that bihari accent .
The next day my friend went to meet his GF and I went to the place that they claim have the best malls in patna , the zoo. I realized what actually they call mall, believe me it was pitiable .my friend was quite conservative about his GF he never let anyone se her message or even number and that day too he was hiding from us but on way back from the zoo we spotted him with a girl and probably he had not seen me. As they passed me I was jumping of joy not but because I had spotted his little secret but for the fact that I don’t have a GF I even enjoyed a chilled drink in what seems to be my victory. His GF was a mere 5pointer and he used to boast about her I was better not having a GF than her.
When we made my friend realize that we had spotted his GF he was not in any mood to believe the fact and to bring him on earth I had followed his GF in those narrow gullis filled with girls hostels I was sacred for a moment what if people around will start pushing me for following a girl whatever be her looks. But finally I reached her hostel and we had a treat with my friend and his GF and I gave her the respect she deserved.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The boards exams were near, and though I had a little trauma before the exams but I kept reminding myself that there were other things to do at that moment. I had a special technique to do that, I used to hit my cerebrum hardly with my hand that too because of a funny conception of mine our thinking is controlled by it so if we could give it a little shaker the thoughts may vanish .you’ll get to know me I m a huge fundebaaz and I create them out of nothing and most of the times the exactly fit to the scenario. We all studied a bit lesser in our exam time and continue to felt that our exams would have been better had they been conducted a good month earlier as if we were Ashok Gangully deciding the schedule of the of the board exams. We had to go through them at the time they were decided .well lot of you might be felling that it is too much general please have patience .
Well I had prepared for the exams but I had a different way of preparing instead of reading a lot I tend to read more specifically from ncert books and previous years question without caring how many times the syllabus might have changed. It was my believe and brought confidence in me though it seemed ill logical to many. I tend to form my own conceptions ‘I told u about fundas ‘ according to which the exam paper of chemistry should be difficult this time around as it was for physics the last time but it failed as the paper seemed easier than again another conception I formed !!!! Physics must be tough. aah that too didn’t happened and for the last shot I though now with all our core exams falling easier it should be English exam that should matter and yup ‘in the end’ it did.
Well most of my batch mates had a habit of reading in front of the exam centre early in the morning but I had a different thing to do because it makes me nervous so I tend to do things that I didn’t during school hrs ……….yes u guessed it right looking at girls which had gathered from different schools from the roof of my friends house so that vice versa could not be possible. Though ladies remain in their tashan every single time u gaze at them but it is the only time they can b seen in panic …..moving around chanting lessons and asking for your help . Don’t u think they look beautiful that way and moreover it feels great to see someone pleading for god’s mercy who tends to ask for their mercy on u . Though girls always tend to take greater care of their appearance than anything else so it was natural that they would take the same care of their answer sheets as well as in the case of English which was supposed to change the route of Nile definitely curves along their way. We can only try to match them as their path is not so curvy by that time. I managed to equate with them that had made all the difference.
It was my math exam supposed be the last day when I could see her for the last time again my conception but it was true. I saw her but couldn’t see though her deep eyes as she dropped her face before I could have a glance and rushed pass me as if I was about to swallow the entire arena around that place. But she was still the most beautiful I could ever imagine anyone to b. we had a lot of holidays before the next exam ‘though they were finished for her ‘we tried to enjoy our time but useless as we didn’t knew how to do that
Friday, August 21, 2009
when i proposed her
5th dec 06
i cant forget this day in my entire life,i was facing my 1st pre board exam of english but instesd of studies a lot more was going on in my little grey matter.well this was the most important thing of my life"it appaered to me that time but later a lot important things came and go".this day i gathered all my courage and proposed her ."when i was telling her i was soterrified that i even closed my eyes and thought of some thing else".i already knew what the responce would be as i never talked to any girl and suddenly i was proposing to the most smartest,sexiest girl of my class.
i wished i could hav receved a nice slap ! atleast she would have touched me.she already had a boyfrend whom she couldnt ditch for me .she offered me her frendship but i was so dumbstruct with my own action that i was just out of my mind and did not responded
as soon as she went away i was jumping in joy ,i had gathered that courage needed for proposing afterall its not that difficult to propose as they show in movies. probably it was not hard for me becose i already knew the result.but i didnt scruedup my exam .just when i reached home i was taken by the dark sadness oh! god i had lost her for ever.now i was feeling the pain .i was unable to move ,my head was without that grey matter with board exams hounting and the pressure mounting on me i was just thinking just about her smile ,her beauty and nothing at all.i was about to screw it all
i cant forget this day in my entire life,i was facing my 1st pre board exam of english but instesd of studies a lot more was going on in my little grey matter.well this was the most important thing of my life"it appaered to me that time but later a lot important things came and go".this day i gathered all my courage and proposed her ."when i was telling her i was soterrified that i even closed my eyes and thought of some thing else".i already knew what the responce would be as i never talked to any girl and suddenly i was proposing to the most smartest,sexiest girl of my class.
i wished i could hav receved a nice slap ! atleast she would have touched me.she already had a boyfrend whom she couldnt ditch for me .she offered me her frendship but i was so dumbstruct with my own action that i was just out of my mind and did not responded
as soon as she went away i was jumping in joy ,i had gathered that courage needed for proposing afterall its not that difficult to propose as they show in movies. probably it was not hard for me becose i already knew the result.but i didnt scruedup my exam .just when i reached home i was taken by the dark sadness oh! god i had lost her for ever.now i was feeling the pain .i was unable to move ,my head was without that grey matter with board exams hounting and the pressure mounting on me i was just thinking just about her smile ,her beauty and nothing at all.i was about to screw it all
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