Decose

my head is still swinging, it feels so great though it is so difficult to have control over your head and this over your body. Sweet mother of all.

the day didn't started so well, you know how it started my soap fell into into the toilet while i was using it man...... that was fucking hilarious , i had to use the soap but i had to flush it off . dude 

the moment that happened i knew i had to screw my day one way the other,,,,

i tried to put in my best so went on with 'fear is the key' it was just fine not fear full at all. then i went to mineral wing just to get relaxed i guess i went to pammis well not much the usual BC the crowd went on building and i went back the memory lane to get 'decose' the cough serup we used  in the first year a lot, I know that sounds crazy but you gotta try decose its far better than anything …mmmmm.

With that we also ate gooday to make our day good and just the usual BC and sardar jokes went on. I came back to my room went for a bath and since then my head is swinging and I just want to nod sideways to anything or everything, too good.

After lunch I couldn’t do anything just went straight inside my sheet .though the turds outside were creating havoc for any toddler sleeper but my sleep engine was powered by docose in spite of the worse conditions I slept for 4 hours. Even when I woke I can’t still feel my head its still swinging and I am like roaming in the endless universe bouncing on the wreck of asteroids and still loving it, defying all norms of Newton or gravity for that matter. I love you decose. mmmmmmmmmuuuuuaaaahhhhhhhh

NATHAN

Stranger: hi

You: hi

Stranger: how do you make yourself cry/blush/ect.?

You: i dont know

You: i am not a girl

Stranger: =(

Stranger: age?

You: 20

Stranger: 14

You: hi kiddo

Stranger: hi you seem old enough to not be a perv

You: yeah i am not a pervert

Stranger: most boys my age are

You: well what can i say they are

You: not just your age but mostly

You: lol

Stranger: what's your job?

You: i am an engineering student for noww

You: i dont work sorry for that

Stranger: is ok, what sort of engineering?

You: mineral and materials

Stranger: k

You: what about you?

You: which grade?

Stranger: 9th

You: cool nice

Stranger: do you know why most boy's my age are perverts?

You: they just are, they are more open about their feelings

You: and as soon as they hit puberty they can only think about just one thing

You: are you also one of those guys?

Stranger: i am NOT a pervert!!!

You: ok cool it

You: i dont care if you are a pervert or not

You: why do you have such an issue with them?

You: tell me you are not gay

Stranger: did i ever say my gender?

You: nope

You: but anyone can guess

Stranger: i don't know if i'm gay or not, i'm fine with any sexual preference though

You: you are bi then

You: and at this moment you sound like a heart broken girl

Stranger: i would honestly rather be a girl

You: lol i told you you are gay

You: yeah guys are pervs so get over with it

Stranger: it anoys me to hear so many perverted conversations

You: then dont

You: you need to be friends with girls

You: and you can tell them you are gay

You: and also there are lot of gay people as well at your disposal

Stranger: but wouldn't it be embarrassing to openly discuss my sexual preference?

You: nope i dont think so

You: why would it be?

You: you were born gay not your fault

You: i am cool with having a gay friend even though i am not gay

Stranger: it seems like it'd be embarrassing like confessing

You: no it wont be

You: people may make fun of you

You: but it doesnt matter

You: you have got to be really what you are that is more important

Stranger: i'm surprised i'm not piked on more
i'm nerdy after all

You: lol so was i

You: nerd not a gay

You: its perfectly fine nothing to worry about, let people bully you and try to make fun of them

Stranger: my problem is i have trouble just starting a conversation with people

You: you dont have to

You: just keep quite and do your work people will talk to you themselves

Stranger: yes a few, but i'm not that good a continuing conversations, i usually just answer or ask questions that i desire to know the answer to

You: that is the best thing to do

You: you are going great dont worry about anything

Stranger: even though i've haven't made 10 friends in the last 13 years?

You: but those will be your real friends

You: i have made just 4 real friends in 20 years

You: though i have countless friends

Stranger: well how do you make more friends even if they aren't real friends?

Stranger: or a girl/boyfriend?

You: just class mates

You: i dont have a girlfriend

You: i never had any

You: and i am not planning for any

Stranger: I probably have few friends because the only thing I consider friends is true friends

You: yeah

You: thats better

Stranger: you should look for a girlfriend, don't you want to get married and have kids and grand kids?

You: i dont know

You: i dont have any gf and may be i will not have any

You: i am not good with girls

You: nerdy thing

Stranger: i'm not good with people, i'm an intravert

You: i am good with guys

You: i am an ambivert

You: i just dont meet to a lot of girls thats all

Stranger: ambivert? you mean extravert?

Stranger: meet to?

You: both

You: i can be introvert and extrovert

Stranger: k

Stranger: what would be your reaction if i told you i was a girl?

You: you are just 14 so nothing much

You: lol

You: you are just a kid and it wont matter even if you were a girl

Stranger: what if i told u earlier that i was 15-17, it's interesting when you pretend to a be a 15-17 year old girl

You: lol well nothing much then as well

You: we could have been good friends thats all

Stranger: why do you suppose i wish to be a girl?

You: i didn't you told me you wanted to be a girl

You: and that does mean you are a guy

Stranger: have, you ever confessed?

You: confessed what ?

You: i never did anything that bad

Stranger: confessed love

You: and i might have confessed a lot of petty things

You: well yeah i did when i was in school

Stranger: how'd you get over the nervousness?

You: i was such a geek , i never talked to a girl and the 1st thing i said was 'i love you and i want to spend rest of my life with you'

You: the suspence was eating me away

You: and i had to tell her coz i was not able to do anything

You: hang on brb

You: back

Stranger: what do you suppose his reaction would be if i confessed? as far as i know he's not gay

You: he will say listen i like you a lot as a guy and i am not gay we can be friends but i cant love you like you want

You: i suppose if he is not a jerk he would say this

Stranger: what do you suppose his expression would be?

You: confused

You: and shocked

Stranger: how can i get over the nervousness of confessing to him?

You: you can do that by thinking what might be the ugliest condition

You: it helped me, i knew that the girl wont ever say yes so i was cool

You: i knew what will come out of it and so do you now

Stranger: but that still doesn't help my nervousness

You: it worked for me you have to figure it out

Stranger: how might i become less embarrassed about the idea of actually wearing girls clothes?

You: good luck to you

You: well that is pretty weired

You: if you want that why dont you go for a sex change operation

You: then things might get straight for you

Stranger: since i want to be a girl i really want to wear girl's clothes to school but i'd be too embarased

Stranger: it's also weird that he has the same name as me

You: it would be better if you go for a sex change operation

You: yeah that will be weired if you would wear girls clothes

Stranger: how would i tell my parents? about sex change

You: you will have to tell them that

You: you have got to trust them with this nothing can help you with it

Stranger: but i'd be too nervous to tell them

You: you have to get over with it

You: or you will be like a girl living ina guys body forever

Stranger: i think i might actually be bi

You: ok may be

You: may i know your name?

Stranger: would it be weirder if i got a sex change and still liked girls, or just didn't get a sex change and liked guys

Stranger: nathan

You: ok yeah that will be

You: give yourself a chance

You: may be you are a bi rather than just gay

You: and do you still like girls?

Stranger: i'm too shy around them, the first time i noticed i liked someone was when i for some reason thought she liked me

You: thats fine

You: and you like guys as well

You: what can i say , you are bi live with it and you cant wear girls clothes to school

Stranger: why nit?

Stranger: not*

You: coz you are in a guys body

Stranger: so i can't cross dress?

You: that would be really weired and everyone will make fun of you for no reason

You: you can wear jeans and Ts like girls do

Stranger: you mean like the jeans that actually FIT as appose to those baggy ones?

You: yeah

Stranger: do people actually blush?

You: girls do

You: i dont know much about guys doing that

You: but yeah there is a guy here who pretends to blush like them

You: lol

You: anyways i have to go now

Stranger: bye